H.L. Farmer & Sons
A week ago, we visited H. L. Farmer & Sons funeral home. It had been on our To-Do list for a long time, but my current, nose-to-nose conversation with stage-4 lung cancer sort of pushed the envelope.
VERY INTERESTING! Did you know—
- In Massachusetts, a body cannot be cremated within 48 hours of death?
- Saturday burials can incur a cemetery overtime charge, or they just don’t bury at certain times?
- You can save a ton of money by having the funeral service after cremation?
The whole thing is an expensive proposition, with a headstone adding even more. You’d be surprised, though, by all the work that goes into disposing of your remains, and how kind and helpful these professionals are.
Cancer ratcheted my funeral arrangements toward the top of the pile, especially with lesions showing up elsewhere. I’ve started a med that might give me extra time, but as you know, I’m not keen on hanging around forever. The name of the med is Crizotinib, and we’ll see how the side effects go. A rash is possible. Will I turn purple or chartreuse? One neat God thing: my medical insurance is paying the total price—($16,000).
My body may be full of cancer, but my soul is full of the love of God.
Eugene Peterson, one of my favorite authors, asks the proverbial question, “If you were shipwrecked on a desert island, what book would you wish you had?” His best answer was A Practical Guide to Boat Building.
But then he goes on to say that the entire Bible is God’s word for shipwrecked people, making plain the way of salvation.
2 Corinthians 5:21 For He made [Jesus] who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
Titus 3:4 When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.
My boat is built and ready to sail!
Many of you have commented, or sent notes or emails. I try to respond, but the time may come when you won’t hear back. I haven’t stopped loving you; I’m just busy getting into the boat.
Please comment below, or on egus@me.com
Oh Dear Ellie and Jim,
sending Much Appreciation! Much Admiration! So Much Grace and Strength for the journey, Much Love on this side and looking forward to seeing you in His Presence dear friend…
Charlie Clark
Ellie, I love that you keep your humor. I love that you are sharing your journey with us. I keep thinking of the unique footprint you will leave when God does finally call you home. I do still pray for your health and strength. Hugs to another day living for Jesus!
I like the way you think and write, dear friend👏👏~W
You and Jim are wise, my friends, by taking the uncomfortable steps to be ready physically and spiritually. The payoff for both will be outstanding. You are also loving and bold by taking the time to be clear models for us all to do the same.
Ellie, how you must delight the heart of God with your whimsical, unimpinged view of this temporal, material world and your unshakingly solid faith and desire for the REAL one. I so appreciate your unflinching grip on true Reality, and consider myself and my family priviledged to know you. Thank you for sharing your personal walk so publicly!
My own nature says I don’t want you getting into the boat. But I know that time will come for all of us. May God’s Grace be with you and His presence fill you. Love you and thank you for sharing.
Stick with the planning and preparation – we did that years ago and it made caring for Joy’s body ever so much simpler. We actually will bury her ashes on Monday, her 84th birthday. Blessings and am praying for you and Jim every day.
yes, I have had for about 20 years now. This was prompted by my mother in law selling her house and that was her plan, I learned during that that the cost at that time doubled every 4 years. A later phone call to my parents and the question what did you do this weekend, “planned Irene’s funeral, no she isn’t dead but we need to do your’s also”. They had a “funeral fund” which I was hoping they wouldn’t use soon but if they stayed a few more years wouldn’t cover the expenses. So those plans were made. It was a blessing because my mother got to spell all the polish names and tell her obit story as well as to pick out the casket and lining that matched her dress. Praise God I had it all wrong! So the fund paid for 3 preplanned (my brother too) and had money left over that they could enjoy while here. I highly recommend pre-planning it saves money and stress for the family in mourning. Bless you Ellie.
Ellie, you are amazing and an inspiration. I know God is right there with you every moment and always will be. Bless you. And in case you do stop writing sooner than expected, please take comfort now from one of my favorite verses: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his godly ones.” Ps 116:15
Ellie, I’m very glad that you and Jim are tending to this. I had done it for both Barbara and me quite a while before she died. I’m praying every day for you and Jim.
Ellie – As those beautiful comments previous to mine, I too think you are wise for the pre-planning and I once I am moved into my apartment that will be my task. I had no idea you knew Bill and Joy who recently joined Jesus. You are sharing such important ideas most of us put out of our minds. Thank you for those precious times you stopped by to see us on your way North. My prayers are with you and Jim during this time. Love in Jesus name
Ellie and Jim,
Thanks for sharing your wisdom and thoughts on end of life, beginning of new life issues. Where would we be without Jesus, our boat and anchor? Praying for you both. Love in Christ, Doug & Judy
Thank you Ellie for your wisdom and your deepest thoughts on departure. We all anticipate the day of our departure. One day, sailing will start. God knows when. He fixed unknown days, time and minute for each and everyone of us. Apostle Paul had a great desire to depart. He said, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me. Yet what shall I choose?
I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;
( Phil 1:21-23). It will be a gain for those who’ve received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of their lives. They are going home. They will be with Christ forever and ever. There will be no more diseases.
Praying for you Ellie & Jim Gustafson.
Thank you Ellie for your wisdom and your deepest thoughts on departure. We all anticipate the day of our departure. One day, sailing will start. God knows when. He fixed unknown days, time and minute for each and everyone of us. Apostle Paul had a great desire to depart. He said, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me. Yet what shall I choose?
I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;
( Phil 1:21-23). It will be a gain for those who’ve received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of their lives. They are going home. They will be with Christ forever and ever. There will be no more diseases.
Praying for you Ellie & Jim Gustafson.
Dear Ellie! I’ve been praying for you and your family!! I kind of always had you on my bucket list of people to know better but… it will have to simply wait a little while I guess. I don’t know what else to say. My heart fills up thinking about you all!! With love, Katy
Ellie, I dreamed about you last night. I don’t remember much, just a nice hug. Sending love your way. Scott
Even when you can’t answer back, Ellie, we’ll still love you like crazy.
Dear Ellie,
My heart, arms, and mind do not want to let you go but I respect God’s plan and your desire to be with him. Your life and your life’s work has been to glorify Jesus and by many examples demonstrate to others how to do the same. You have spoken to me about letting my light shine. That was difficult for me as I am a very introverted person and I am working on that. Your unwavering love for Jesus shines on Ellie. My prayers are with you and your loved ones.
love, Sherry + Gary Dugas
Dear Ellie…
I have a feeling that you are the kind of person who was born looking up!
So many of us walk around looking down at the ground, but then we see a light and look up to see your smiling face. And we see the joy and the humor and the warmth and the open arms! We see your faith and humility.
And the next thing you know, we are looking up with you, hoping to see just a small glimpse of what it is that you see.
In the way that you live your life every day, for your generosity in sharing your journey with us, thank you for reminding us to lift our eyes up to the heavens and open our arms wide to God‘s amazing grace.
Keep looking up, dear Ellie, pointing the way toward Jesus and our eternal joy with him!
Your love will live forever!
Prayers for blessings on you and Jim this day, and every day. Love, Sue
Ellie, you continue to amaze me and inspire me. Like so many others, I don’t want you anywhere near that boat but I know the time must come. Through the tears I will be filled with joy knowing that you’ll continue to be in the arms of our Lord and Savior. And you’ll be in the most wondrous place smiling as always and sharing those hugs. Ahhhh this hugs my Ellie. So smart that you and Jim are planning ahead and dealing with the humanness of all this stuff. But it must be done. We will love you no matter where you are for our hearts are God’s heart and that’s where you always are. Peace and joy always my sweet friend.
Hey Ellie, I loved Carols’ comment above, “Ellie, how you must delight the heart of God with your whimsical, unimpinged view of this temporal, material world and your unshakingly solid faith and desire for the REAL one.” Such a great description of you. I’m so thankful that you and Jim stopped by our house some months back. Little did we know that you would be facing cancer so soon after that. You have been our cheerleaders for close to 30 years now–and we THANK YOU for that constant love and interest and support. May all God’s sweet comfort be ever so evident to you both during these days.
Ellie, it makes me so sad to read your posts! You have been such a light in this world and are taking this journey with such dignity and grace. And most of all, you are pointing people to Christ! It is a honor to know you!
Dear Ellie, God used you and Jim decades ago to encourage and strengthen my faith which led to short term mission work with Jim in the DR in 1983 and then to Kenya, Lesotho, the Philippines,, seminary, and 26 years of ministry as an ordained Lutheran minister in NY & NJ. I continue to give thanks to God for your life and witness to God’s love and grace, especially now. You & Jim continue to be in my prayers.
You continue to be a clear-headed inspiration to Mara and me. i still quote you to friends of mine who writers. We will always love you and Jim. Always praying.