I’m dying. And I’m in hospice.
I’ve never done this before, so it’s a learning curve. Do I do a little dance and sing with the Von Trapps?
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu.
Or will I continue living, laughing, and loving in heaven as I’ve done all my life?
Hospice does change one’s thinking about life and death. Life has been an interesting spin, and I’m grateful for an ideal childhood, an excellent college experience, a good husband and three fine children. We’ve experienced pastoring, travel, tree farming, horses, music making, writing, gardening, and interacting with friends and neighbors, worldwide.
Here, surrounded by an assortment of people with varying health issues, I see life and death in different terms. Nurses, aides, and maintenance people show great skill and care toward each of us, and I care deeply for them all.
A friend sent me a book that beautifully examines death and dying in its particulars. Is death a friend or an enemy? How do we live as dying creatures? Does sickness and death reveal a lack of faith? Are there hints about life in heaven?
A quote on the last page speaks truth I want to live out:
Outside the chapel, a cemetery lies in an area cleared of trees. The cemetery has several dozen simple graves. Each has a white cross engraved with the name of the monk, along with the years of his birth and death. As I stand by a cross that marks one of the most recent graves, I consider how that monk had prayed the Psalms, giving glory to the Trinity, not long ago, just a few hundred yards away. When he prayed, the monk knew that his body would not have far to travel after he breathed his last. Even more important to the monk, I suspect, was his trust that the Psalms and prayers in the sanctuary would carry on, even without his voice.*
I’ll be out of the picture, but others will keep speaking and singing my lines. Worship will happen without me, hugs will be given, appreciation will cascade from refreshing streams of love and caring.
God WILL be praised!
*From The End of the Christian Life, by J. Todd Billings, p. 219.
We’re in this together, Death and Taxes being our only certainty. Comment below, or email egus@me.com. I love hearing from you.
Ellie – thank you for your life-long witness to the Truth and your model of faithful Christian living.
We are all dying, of course. Memento mori. Hospice is a blunt reminder of this truth.
I hope to visit with you again on this side of Jordan, but I am looking forward to rejoicing with you in the choir around the throne for all eternity!
Sally
“But lo! there breaks a yet more glorious day; the saints triumphant rise in bight array; the King of glory passes on his way, Alleluia! Alleluia! (William Walsham How) Love you both, Lowell
Hey Ellie,
As you know I practiced as a Hospice Nurse for 5 years as I ended my nursing career. This experience did not make me more fearful of death but quite the opposite. The thought of stepping from this dying sinful world through the doorway into God’s perfect and Glorious presence makes me smile. I have all of your books which I will pass on to my grandchildren when I step through that doorway and finally get to meet you. So indeed God will continue to be praised! Thank you for sharing your talent and your life in the written word and thank you for your support in my writing! Love you, Kathy
Amen! I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you for quite awhile, especially since the new House of David TV series on Amazon Prime made its debut. What do you think about it? It drove me to my third read through of The Stones, which you wrote like a magnificent biography of David the Beloved. Yes, I know technically it’s a novel, but it reads like you were there, friend–such glorious insights, especially of the God who loved David. You will meet Him soon and I’m trying not to be jealous. Now, I have much to be thankful for here and like Paul think it is clearly more advantageous for the time to remain in the flesh for the sake of others, but to depart and be with Christ is indeed “far better.” I’m so glad to have had you in my life, Ellie dear, and look forward to continuing our friendship on the other side! God bless and keep you moment by moment.
Oh my, dear Ellie. I’m praying for Jesus’ perfect Shalom to minister deeply to your entire being throughout these days ahead. I’m so grateful for your love and beautiful spirit by which my life has been greatly enriched throughout our many years together at West Church. You are a gem and a living stone in God’s house!!! I sure do love, honor and appreciate you!!! 😍🌷
You, my dear friend, have approached death as you have approached life: with arms open wide in surrender to the Lord of lords and King of kings! What a fine witness and wonderful legacy! Until we meet again … love you.
My Sweet friend Ellie, I Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful books and I Thank you for your beautiful faith and your love for God. I Thank God for you and that He let us cross paths in our love for books in this life . You are a true Child of God. God Bless you my Sweet Friend. Love you. Sincerely Alicia Haney.
Oh Ellie, I am so grateful I met you via online in a Facebook group where authors shared their books. You have been such a beautiful bright light. My Christmas card I sent came back and I realized I had forgotten that you moved. I have been praying for you my dear. Praying for your family as well. Thank you so much for your sweet blog, your little notes you’ve written me via email. I am deeply humbled. Thank you for your unwavering faith, a true inspiration on walking through this life with perseverance. God Bless and much Love, Martha
Ellie your living example of love in the truest, faith meaning has touched my life. It does not descriminate, and free to everyone. You can see in your eyes that you have lived a full life with many blessings. You see people as Jesus did and your kindness is welcoming. You are brave and courages because you have no fear. Jesus lives and has conquered the grave and your faith tells your story. A life well lived and not wasted on foolish things. You will hear the words, “Well done, my faithful child.” I love you Ellie, and will keep you in my prayers as you round base 3 and head into home plate. Forever loved and always remembered.
I’ve been so blessed to have you in my life. I will see you in Heaven, dear friend.
Love, Liane
Ellie, it was hard for me to read this blog but your incredible spirit and love for so many continue to be a hallmark in your life. I have been blessed beyond measure just by knowing you for a short while here on earth. It gladdens my heart to know we will see each other again and it won’t be a short meeting! I love you Ellie and will be praying for God’s continued magnificent presence in your life as you experience hospice and tackle the “ last enemy”.
Love,
Dotty
Ellie,
Good-byes are always difficult.
Some years ago, I sang with a choir who went to Hospice House in Haverhill on a weekly basis. I found HH to be such a sweet place. The fights of life were over, and patients were treated to incredible caring and kindness. The silence was not deafening but rather comforting. I wish my voice was still able to bring you a song. But know that I am singing to you in my heart.
Like the others above, you have had a special place in my life. Your hugs, smile and welcome were always a joy to receive. I’ve enjoyed your books. I have often mentioned you to my friends when I’ve talked about being a Christian woman and who I wanted to model myself after.
Go to our Lord in peace and see you there!
Love, Linda
My sweet Ellie. I think of you so often and cherish all those wonderful hugs from you. My heart hurts but I know it is because of all the love it is filled with. I was blessed to volunteer at hospice for many years and while people think it is so sad, it is actually quite beautiful. It is the journey home and my patients were filled with peace as they traveled that road. It filled me with peace as God brought his people home and allowed me the honor of being part of their journeys. I am so grateful we spent time together and all you taught me about love and unconditional joy. And how your life made all of us better servants to one another. God is so great. I love you Ellie and I pray for you as you make your journey home. I will see you in glory!
Ronni Longwell
Dear Ellie —
Thank you for the love you showed me so subtly over the decades. I haven’t been a good friend. Long gaps of time between communication. Yet, never have you been anything but gracious and kind. And you have, by that example, continued to mentor me. Thank you. Thank you for your creativity, your gentleness, your determination to see light. Lisa and I worshiped this past Sunday at a predominantly African-American congregation, joining with that congregation to celebrate nine years of ministry led by the pastor and his wife. They have become friends, although we don’t have opportunities to spend a great deal of time together. Anyway — I was once again deeply impacted and encouraged by the worship — worship that grows out of a soil of suffering both remembered and experienced by many in the congregation. And their confidence in the goodness and power of God to lead them to glory was so uplifting. You have shown a similar determination, come what may. Honesty rooted in love you have received and then turned to offer.
Again, thank you. Thank you.
David Wallover
Dear Ellie,
Your words are thought provoking and inspirational. I think you should do the singing… not only the hills are alive with the sound of music. There will be singing and shouting the Victory in the Heavens. Your words inspired me to compose a poem for this response.
Final Flight
No need to pack a bag or snack
or of anything a spare;
for every comfort of desire
Is all-inclusive there.
No need for tissues, bandages,
or batteries for light;
The travel agent planned it all
And guaranteed my flight.
I do not know just when l’ll go;
until then I’ll watch and pray.
Leaning more upon the one
who will take me there that day.
He is The One, God’s only Son,
impassioned for my soul,
gave His life and shed His blood
to pay my fare in full.
God raised Him up to Glory
and promises a fate the same,
to whoever confesses sinfulness
and calls out Jesus’s name.
When I reach this destination
friends and family I will see.
It will be a great reunion
filled with Joy and Harmony.
If you want a reservation:
Call Jesus- and it’s FREE
He’s made all the arrangements
for Life in ETERNITY!
Your life has blessed probably more people than you realize…it is wonderful to think about seeing you in Heaven and maybe walking with you in a garden. Being with my mother when Jesus came to take her to BE WITH HIM was awe inspiring. I pray your family will feel His presence at that moment for you too.
Peace be with you dear friend,
Renea Wade
CHANUTE KS
(316)209-9688
Thinking of you this morning and praising God for you. Even in death you are a loving example of how to do it well! I love and respect you. I pray blessings upon you and hope to see you at least one more time. Prayers for Jim and your family.
Dear dear Ellie,
Larry and I are praying for you, Jim, and your family! This cannot be easy, friend! But we know you will walk this path just like you have walked all the paths in your blessed life—- with grace, honesty, and your eyes fixed on Jesus!!!
We will pray this verse for you….
Colossians 1:17:
“And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together”.
Continue to ABIDE in Him, like you always do!
He is holding you! We love you so much!!
Lucy & Larry Champoux