First, some good news. After two years of squirrels embezzling all my peaches, God intervened!
I‘ve had only two squirrel sightings this year, and neither of them (thanks be to God) got a whiff of peach breath! Woodchucks look up hopefully, waiting for drops and giving thanks for their daily bread.
Is my cancer picture good or bad news? Can’t tell yet. I have opted for an off-beat, non-medically-approved protocol that has strong, anecdotal evidence. I take Panacur C (puppy de-worming med), along with assorted vitamins and CBD oil. At least one study on this, by Nature magazine, carries some weight, but for me, it’s a gamble, if you will. For now, I’m reasonably well and strong, with no pain. Pretty good shape for #4 lung cancer! This could change, but after my 3-month trial, I’ll have a better picture of things to come.
My options:
* Do nothing—live a number of months
* Oncologist-recommended, personalized, genomic treatment with limited side effects—add 6 months to a year. Remains Stage 4.
* Panacur C, etc—could have complete remission, requiring only that I keep up the protocol for life.
SINCE I GENUINELY DO NOT CARE IF I LIVE OR DIE, I am willing to take the risk, putting my life totally in God’s hands. This whole thing has been odd from the get-go—never smoked, ate healthy, avoided sugar, exercised, kept weight down. I am convinced that God has His hand on me, using this cancer as a platform for talking about the realities of life and death. Several biblical prophets were asked to do odd things—Hosea, Ezekiel, Jeremiah. I’m no prophet, but I can fix my eyes on the One who created squirrels and peaches, and who also loves and welcomes sinners into Real Live—FOREVER with Him.
My life flows on in endless song
Above Earth’s lamentation;
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails the new creation.
Above the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It sounds an echo in my soul—
How can I keep from singing?
What though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
What though the darkness round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that rock I’m clinging;
Since love is lord of Heaven and Earth,
How can I keep from singing?
Please sing with me!
Do you fear death? I’d love to talk with you. Email: egus@me.com
Hi Eleanor , I am happy to hear from you and I am very happy that you are feeling well. Thanks be to God. You are a very brave and strong lady and God is taking care of you. You know I don’t fear death, I know one day my life will end on this earth, but Godwilling my soul shall live in heaven with Our Heavenly Father and all my loved ones that have gone before me. I will miss my family dearly, but I know that one day we will be united. For now I shall live One Day at a time and try to live for the Purpose God has me here for, until God needs me . God Bless you my friend. <3
When I think of your end of life and how imminent it could be, I am reminded of a discussion my Father and I had about looking for one another in the back corner of the throne room in the first thousand years.
We are all but a vapor that hangs in the air for a moment and then it is gone. Thanks for pointing to the Eternal Glory of God that awaits all of us as Children of the King.
Praying for years of continued life… Love and deep respect and admiration for your testimony and lifes witness.
Your son in the faith…
Charlie Clark
You continue to encourage me in my Christian walk….thank you Ellie for this thought provoking and spiritually overflowing post!
AMEN ! to Dotty Slagen’s post. Is it too late for me to grow up to be like you?
Ellie, you are an inspiration to me. In the end you are so right, that our life is ordained and directed by the most high God. I sit and ponder on the tears in my eyes and think ” you have made such a difference in peoples life by who you are.” I think back when I first surrendered to Christ. I read the on Purpose Person. The question was asked “What do you want on your tombstone.” Then advise to live your life out that way. I whispered back then, “I want to make a difference.” You and Jim have been an inspiration to Rob and I. You have made a difference. When we get to heaven, How well we have given away God’s love is all that matters.
Chris
I love your style of writing – real, creative, sensitive. I love your ministry & influence. I love your faithfulness and stability. I love your calm and confident spirit. Thanks Ellie!
When I was praying a few days ago, I suddenly thought “why can’t I just pray for the cancer to go away?” I think the Lord was putting it into my mind. Praying for you always!
Ellie, we haven’t known each other long, but your optimism, humility before God, and faith are a true blessing. Thank-you for your transparency and generosity in allowing us to share in your journey. Bless you.
We are Blessed!!!!!
Ellie, Thank you so much for all of the inspiration you have given to me and continue to give me. Each day is a gift from God and none of us knows how much longer we have to serve Him in this life. Thank you for encouraging me in my writing. I am not afraid to die. I know who has my life in His hands. I have been truly blessed to have you in my life. You remain in my prayers!
I agree with Laura. “Go away stupid cancer!! Leave Ellie alone! We need her!”
We REALLY do!!!!
Please Lord,we have so much more to learn from her. She is such an inspiration to us! She loves you passionately, and is not afraid to show your love and compassion to everyone she meets. Thank you Jesus, for hearing our pleas! We trust you always in all things, and we know our futures are secure. But we also know that our fervent prayers do influence your decisions. Along with many who love her, I am advocating for this beautiful servant to stay with us, to regain perfect health and vigor so that she can continue to serve you and to be a model to all of us who desire to live with JOY in You. Your heart is full of mercy and compassion Lord. Please hear our prayers, cover us with your grace and have mercy on us, until the day when we are all reunited with you in heaven. Amen
I cannot articulate my feeling any better than everyone above already has🌸 especially the prayer, love you Ellie ❤️
Wow! Somehow I missed news of #4 cancer. I always thought I wouldn’t care if I lived or died, as long as it wasn’t right now. I am so glad to see you face this with hope to encourage us ‘little faiths.’ As a side note, my Mom was diagnosed with #5 Parkinson’s years ago, but with some ups and downs and much growth in her faith in God, has beaten it way back and been busy! Just this spring she tried some CBD, and thought it was helpful, but not a panacea. Also fascinating to me because I have a bottle of Panacur for our goats. And just in case we have not because we ask not, we will add your complete healing to our prayers! Much love!
You sound as level-headed and gutsy in this decision as I thought you were. May God continue to bless you as His creation … with the purpose to glorify His Name. Can’t get any better than that. Amen
Your thoughts are poetically beautiful. It gives me peace and a calmness for you, as you have kindled the thought of, “How would it really be if I were walking in your shoes”. That’s a tall challenging, and engaging dialog I have with myself.
Ellie I have seen the Lord in you and around you since we met in the sanctuary after service about 6 years ago. A gentle warm person with the best hugs. I wanna be more like you in that department. I think of how many lives you touch every Sunday. I look forward to seeing you. I don’t want to think about the what if’s or when. I wanna love you just where you are. You have a piece and place in my heart that’s yours. ❤