My oncologist tells me it’s time to get serious about the prospect of dying, and I’m taking his advice. I decided long ago that wringing my hands won’t help, nor would clinging to the bedposts in abject fear, as Scrooge did. No, instead, I searched my Humor folder and found a wealth of material. Here’s a sample of things that make me laugh, even—or especially—in the process of dying.
Charlie, a new greeter at Walmart, couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was five-plus minutes late, but he was a good worker, sharp minded, and obviously understood the store’s older-person, friendly policies. One day, the boss called him to the office. “Charles, I like your work ethic. You do a bang-up job when you finally get here, but being late is quite a bother.”
“Yes sir. I know, and I’m working on it.”
“Good. That’s what I like to hear. I have to ask, though: I understand you were in the Armed Forces. What did they say if you showed up late?”
The old man looked at the floor, then smiled. “They usually said, ‘Good morning, General. Can I get your coffee, sir?’”
An elderly cattle man from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 103, leaving behind 14 children, three grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
Dying is a laughing matter only if your priorities are in order.
~Are you tight with our Father/Son/Holy Spirit God? Check.
~Does your heart seek to worship Him? Check.
~Are your personal relationships tidy? Check.
If you can check these, we’re both ready to meet the God who created humor.
One final laugh:
HOWEVER, I do need to add: The death of someone near and dear is entirely different. Tragic grief, the despair of persecuted people, the ravage of opioids, the crushing disappointments in life—tears are the only fitting response. Perhaps that’s for another blog. Please tell me your personal stories—below, or email@example.com
P.S. Couldn’t resist adding this one. *Sassenach = derogatory Scottish word for Englishman.
Thank you, Ellie! I needed those laughs! A great way to start my day! 🙂
Thanks much, Anna. Laughter is good medicine for many “diseases.” : )
You are a gem. Life and death are serious enough. God gave us the ability to laugh and sadly, many of us have done too little of that lately. Thank you for the reminder that humor has its place in this world.
Thanks so much, Tess, for your good words. We need each other to help keep the right perspective on life and its difficulties.
In my devotions this morning, I read that adults only laugh 5 times a day (children 500). Thanks for my, at least, 5 laughs.
A sad life, indeed, if anyone can find only 5 things to laugh about, each day! Thanks, Alison!
Ellie, thank you for the laughs. I like the one with the fallen house and spider. Wish I could get a live hug from you . We just returned from Egypt and it warned my heart ♥️ to see your message. I hope the doctors timelines are longer than they think- God is who knows your timeline my sweet relative.
Thanks so much, Liz, for actually “getting” the point of the blog. God definitely has the timetable! And yeah, I like the spider one, too, but even more the Loch Down Monster!!!
Love you, Ellie!
Isn’t it wonderful that we get to live and laugh and love and worship forevah!!!
(PS. Nessie is my fav)
My fav, too, Jeanne! And yes—FOREVAH!!!
Here is a good one for you. My sister was in a store to quickly pick up something. She hurriedly walked out of the store and got into the car right out front where her husband and daughter had dropped her off. Waiting and just staring straight ahead she turned to her husband and said , ” well, what are you waiting for ?” The man that was driving the car said I was wondering when you would notice. She turned around and in the car behind them was her husband and daughter laughing hysterically at her. We are still laughing about this.
You are my inspiration Ellie and a one person welcoming committee to warmly acknowledge everyone in church. We all love you very much !
Sherry, that IS a good one and especially funny when you know the people! Thanks for sending, and thanks for loving!!!
So your oncologist thinks you’re not serious? Now why would he think THAT?
If you show up “late” in heaven, like Charlie the Walmart greeter, may you receive a 21-angel salute and a steaming mug of whatever you like best.
PS Have you tried the gunpowder?
Marcia, your response is even better than the jokes in the blog! Thanks much for laughing with me over many years!
When people ask my wife Nancy why she married me, she answers, “He makes me laugh”..
A good reason—a good test, even—for a good marriage! Thanks, Bob!
Betty uses the same line, but adds, “After 64 years, it’s time for some jokes.”
Thank you, Ellie! You are an inspiration. As a woman who lives in chronic pain and with a few health issues, I am not the best company on some days. My husband, bless that man, he always finds a way to bring a smile to my face. Humor is his thing. I grew up being way too serious and when I met him, we realized we balanced each other! I am grateful for his humor and yours! So, I will something from him!
There was once a race between the lettuce, water, and the tomato. At the finish line, the lettuce was a head, the water was still running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Yes, Martha, laughter is a great antidote to life’s inevitable challenges. And I LOVE your joke! Thanks so much for sending it so others can sip a bit of our “medicine.” : )
Ellie, you are such an inspiration! The depth of your relationship with our Savior is on display in your words, attitude, and responses to adversity and illness. Thank you for making me laugh as I read this which is so much more meaningful in the midst of your struggles. I missed the blog about your fall; so sorry to read about that today also. I hope Jesus keeps you a little longer on earth for our sake, but I know you are prepared and looking forward to your glorious homecoming.🙏🏼❤️
Thanks much, Konnie, for your wonderful response. I’m just pleased that a blog featuring funny stuff can point to Jesus. Friendship is also a great gift from our Lord, and He has blessed me greatly in that regard! BTW, you can pick up the blog about my grocery-store fall by scrolling down from the current blog—and see whatever others you might have missed, as well! : )
Thanks for the laughs, Ellie. I’ve been sharing them and now here’s one for you from a delightfully humble Irish brother in Christ: https://sethlewis.ie/2022/11/16/the-serious-business-of-laughing-at-myself/
Thanks much, Allacin, and I LOVED the link you sent! Well written, insightful, and delightfully funny. Blessings on you!
My response is love and gratitude for having walked a bit alongside of your kind caring soul.
I agree, in life we can laugh and we can cry at circumstances. I too choose to laugh and seek the promise that the Joy of the Lord is our strength.
You continue to be an inspiration, and I look forward to an eternity in His presence.
Thanks so much, Charlie, for your kind words. In our eternal life, tears may be gone, but I think laughter will speak of our everlasting joy.
I remember the night many, many years ago when there was a knock on the door,; when we opened there was Ellie and Jim. One of you said, “Since prayer meeting was cancelled, we decided to come for tea.” The beginning of a powerful friendship.
Nothing backwards about us, was there! Yes, it has been a magnificent friendship! : )
Hi Mom Ellie
You have forever inspired me and my family here in Kenya. You are a great woman of distinction. You write the best.Thanks.
your son in Christ Peter
Thanks much, Peter, for your kind words! I love hearing from Kenya!